Is it time to DIVORCE your low self esteem?

I hope you have all managed to keep your sanity this week!  We certainly live in the strangest of times.  I have been busy getting ready to launch Invisylash on QVC which is beyond my wildest expectations and I am filled with gratitude for any opportunity to get my brand “out there”.

Which leads me on to the subject of something I think that we ALL suffer from: comparison and what it does to our self esteem.  Did reading the first paragraph make you feel that somehow you don’t measure up?  Was it a crushing sense of inadequacy or a quiet niggling doubt?  There is a famous quote you have probably read 

”COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY.” – THEODORE ROOSEVELT

If you spend any time on social media you know for a fact, this statement is true.  When we compare ourselves to what others have or have achieved, or simply how they are or how they look, we are essentially making ourselves feel inadequate and deflated – with a low self esteem to match.  As social media platforms continue to flaunt every aspect of overly “curated” lives, we have high expectations to be earning a certain amount, to own the latest gadgets and to look a certain way – it’s only inevitable that we are going to fall into the trap that is hideous self comparison.  And believe me, it is the greatest thief of joy in our lives.

I have an ongoing battle with low self esteem, sometimes it's a shy friend and other times it's a tyrant in my life.  Whilst it is easier said than done – it is possible to admire what your friends have without feeling that somehow you don’t measure up.  Despite what society says – it is totally okay to feel really good about yourself and what you have achieved.  After all, when we feel good about ourselves it radiates a certain positivity that is infectious; inspiring all of those around you to do the same.

Obviously stopping the habit of self comparison doesn’t happen overnight – but if you can follow these simple steps to overcoming the ultimate thief of joy, then you are already making a BIG step forward. 

1 - what makes you unique?

You don’t have to be a clone, you can be you, especially once you become aware of all the great things you have going for yourself, you will feel instantly uplifted.   I am definitely different and quirky and I have accepted that part of my personality.  I might not be everyone's cup of tea but that's ok.  Ask yourself, what makes you different?  It can go a lot deeper than the way you look (although acknowledging the fact that you actually really like your legs/eyes/butt can’t hurt!) – it can also be the fact that you have an amazing family and friends, a job that serves you and a talent that really makes you unique.

2 - time to divorce your low self esteem

Low self esteem inflicts feelings of self hate, wastes time, deprives us from joy and basically, there is absolutely nothing to gain from self comparison. That’s just a few reasons to start you off!  It's time to file for divorce and get this toxicity out of your life.  Now you have come to terms with how pointless it is to line up our lives with someone elses – it does kinda seem stupid, doesn’t it?

3 - feeling thankful really does work

Be thankful for everything that you have and the small everyday things that happen in your life.  Be it the daily coffee you grab on the way to work, the kind bus driver who brightens your dull morning with a smile or the candlelit dinner you had with your closest people in the evening; there is always something to be thankful for.   Acknowledge them as they happen; that way you are constantly counting your blessings…

Next time you feel those self comparison thoughts creep in, get outside and take a walk. The fresh air, the beautiful surroundings and the endorphins you’ll get from moving your body and connecting with nature is the ultimate way to kick any negative feelings right where they came from – and you can also use this as a chance to put the last tip to practice!

4 - self care is ESSENTIAL

You can aim to take care of yourself better on a physical and mental level.  You can set yourself the goal to be more mindful, to be more prepared with your meals or to practice yoga for 10 minutes every day.  These are all things that challenge you but benefit you at the same time!  Along with this – you could also strive to be a better person; perhaps to make more of an effort to go out of your way to help others or to make someone who looks like they’re having a bad day smile. 

When we help others and we consistently reflect on how we can improve our lives, we are already on track for a happier healthier version of ourselves irrespective of what others have or do not have.

Have a beautiful day.

Zoe