THE CONFIDENCE PUZZLE
Why is liking, or even just accepting ourselves and having a decent dose of self-esteem so bloomin’ difficult? I know some lucky individuals seem to breeze through life without a care in the world but for the majority of us, plagued and battered by low self esteem, gaining self confidence can seem like an impossible Chinese puzzle. The harder we “try” the more elusive self confidence seems. I often feel like I am standing on a shore called Self Doubt and in the distance is the serene island of Self Confidence. I know I want to get there and I know I will be so much happier once I’m there but without a decent boat or even a leaky raft, I am stuck here when I want to be there!
As someone who suffers from low self esteem and a real and palpable lack of confidence, I know first hand how debilitating this condition is. I often think of the wasted years I spent unable to leave my unhappy marriage and start my own business purely because I didn’t believe in my own capabilities. It was only once I had reached the age of 47 that I thought if I don’t do this now it will NEVER happen and decided to leap into the unknown rather than live a life full of regret.
The leap to becoming more confident has been bumpy to say the least. There have been some highs, namely starting Hello Dame in 2020 and there have been some dark lows where my self confidence has plummeted to Ground Zero due the necessity of producing content for Social Media in order to promote my brand. It's excruciating to see myself on camera and more often than not I don't post because I can't get out of my own way. My goal for 2022 is to
COMMIT TO CREATING CONTENT CONSISTENTLY
This journey has led me to continually question what self confidence actually is and how I can get more of it - like bucket loads of it - so I don’t have to be continually running on empty all the time.
I really want to do a deep deep dive into what makes some people naturally confident, and let’s face it , we know them when we see them. What strategies and hacks can I adopt that will honestly move the dial upwards and how can I can share those with you. I so desperately want to get to the shore of FEELING happy in my skin, of waking up FEELING confident that I can tackle the tasks ahead, of FEELING secure and at peace instead of battling the gnawing anxiety that stalks me like a bad smell!
Schooching through YouTube shows I am not alone in my quest to solve the Confidence Conundrum. Here are some titles and number of views:
THE SKILL OF SELF CONFIDENCE 24M VIEWS - yes million
HOW TO BE CONFIDENT IN ANY SITUATION 12M VIEWS
HOW I BECAME CONFIDENT 2.5M VIEWS
3 TIPS TO BOOST YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE 7.8M VIEWS
Why on earth are so many of us lacking the one thing we obviously so desperately need??? I mean 24 million people watching a YouTube video on the Skill of Self Confidence says something is missing - although I have yet to uncover what that intangible something is. I know it’s called Self Confidence but what is that really and how can I get more of it? If it was tangible I would buy it on Amazon Prime, insert it into my neural pathway and skip off joyfully into the future. It really is the most bizarre of Chinese puzzles and my intention is to share my journey with you and hopefully have some fun along the way.
Google kindly gave me this definition when I looked up “Chinese puzzles:
an intricate puzzle consisting of many interlocking pieces
and, personally, I think this describes the Confidence Puzzle beautifully. My guess is there is no one-size-fits-all solution but more likely a combination of interlocking pieces that form the intricate puzzle of self confidence. It may be you try fitting new pieces together - maybe some new makeup, shorter hair, new jeans, new form of exercise - in order to find one that resonates whilst discarding the ones that don't quite fit. My job on this blog is to try lots of things for you and present you with options.
I leave you with this fabulous quote from Tim Urban author of the Wait But Why blog - please do check him out, he’s utterly brilliant and very funny.
No one “builds a house.” They lay one brick again and again and again and the end result is a house. A remarkable, glorious achievement is just what a long series of unremarkable, inglorious tasks looks like from far away.